Harry’s First Babysitters
by Hippie Jade
Summary: Collection of one shots featuring the stories of Harry's first babysitters. Part four of the Harry’s First series. Lily and James find it difficult to keep hold of a babysitter longer then one night, I wonder why…
1. Sirius Black

**Harry's First Babysitters**

**Sirius Black**

"Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"Positive. I promise I wont blow up the house or anything"

Lily narrowed her eyes at her husband's best friend, "That's what you said last time we left you here on your own"

Sirius chuckled guiltily, "I'm older now and now know you must never put mix the contents of the medical cabinet together and put it in the microwave" Lily raised an eyebrow, "Even if I was helping modern science" Sirius finished quickly and smoothly stepped out of slapping range.

"Come on Lily or we'll be late" James called from the doorway as he pulled his coat on, Lily clutched her son a little closer to her chest,

"It's so hard to leave him. He's so innocent"

Sirius sniggered; "His first word was 'asshole', I hardly call that innocent" Lily glared at him before reluctantly loosening her grip and handing the small boy over.

"Hey mate!" Sirius whispered to the infant, "How you doing?"

"Come on" James whispered leading Lily out of the house, Sirius grinned

"Alone at last. What shall we do to pass the time?"

………………………………………………………………………………………...

"Merlin I'm bored" Sirius groaned before looking up at the ceiling, "Oi! Merlin! I said I was bored!" There was a small flash of light and a game of Travel Scrabble appeared on Sirius' lap.

He eyed the game, "Well that's just great! And who do you suppose I play this with?" he threw the game on to the pile of others besides the settee and turned to Harry, "You know. Merlin can be so unimaginative some times. Must come with been dead and all"

Harry shrugged and continued going through Sirius' coat pockets on the floor, he gave a squeal of delight and pulled out a red lolly pop with glee.

Sirius heaved himself off of the settee, "No Harry, I promised your mum I'd give you no sugar, remember?" Harry shook his head and undid the wrapper of the lolly, Sirius lent over to take the lolly only for Harry to move aside, making him fall flat on his face.

"Opf! Ow!" he groaned, "Harry, give me the lolly pop" Harry shook his head and tried to move away. Sirius pounced and his fingers wrapped around the offending sweet, Harry held on tight.

"Harry…give me…the sweet!" Sirius huffed in the effort to prize the infant's fingers from around the wooden stick in vain.

"Harry!" Harry merely doubled his efforts to regain the lolly, "Alright kid, you asked for it" with an almighty heave Sirius hosted the lolly up into the air and over his shoulder, "AHA! Harry?"

He spun round in panic, looking for the missing child. He heard a giggle behind him; looking over his shoulder he let out a scream and jumped about a foot in the air. "AAAAA! Harry!"

Harry grinned back at him his chubby little fists still clinging to the lolly stick.

Sirius looked at him in ewe, "Well at least we know you're magical" he stuttered, Harry gave him an acquiring look, "Oh! Fine. Have the damn lolly!" Sirius declared gently lowering the infant to the floor, Harry grinned.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

"Hey, we're back a bit early" Lily called out into the dark hallway as she peered around the front door.

"See" James said from behind her, "It's all in one piece" Lily smiled guiltily at him and shrugged her coat off and hung it up.

"Must be in here" she muttered tiptoeing into the living room, a minuet later she stuck her head out, "James come and see this"

James stood next to his wife and peered into the room, a smile graced his face at the sight that greeted him.

Lighted by the lamp nearby the couple saw Sirius sprawled out on the settee with Harry on his chest, both fast asleep.

"Aww" Lily sighed, "Is that a lolly pop?"

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Hope you liked it. **

**Coming soon – Remus**

**Peter**

**If you have any suggestions be sure to let me know!**

**And let me know hat you thought!**


	2. Peter Pettigrew

**Harry's First Babysitters**

* * *

****

**Peter Pettigrew**

"Remember. No sugar, no cake, no alcohol and under no circumstances is he to stay up past 6:30"

"Yes Lily" Peter answered holding Harry at arms length as the child tried to pull his hair out. James sniggered by the doorway,

"Come on Wormtail, get a spine will you? He's only a baby!"

"Un huh" Peter, otherwise know as Wormtail, muttered whilst Harry continued to discover just how much pulling power was needed to rip his uncle's hair out.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Want to watch it Pete, that kids evil", Lily whacked him round the head. "

Peter will be fine, can we go now? Or must we wait for you any longer?"

The three left the house letting the door shut behind them, the resounding click echoed by the whimper of Peter and the cackle of baby Harry.

* * *

Peter sat in the corner of the living room, knees to his chest and a spatula in hand, opposite him sat Harry who was grinning.

The grin was one his uncle Padfoot had taught him, it was also scaring Peter out of his wits. Harry widened his grin so all three teeth could be seen, Peter whimpered.

"BOO!" Harry suddenly screamed, he then began to giggle at his shaking uncle who was furiously casting a drying charm on his trousers whilst muttering curses under his breath.

Peter raised the spatula threateningly at the one year old, "N-n-no more f-funny business. It's s-straight to bed for you!" he declared waving the spatula as though it were a great defensive weapon.

Harry raised an eyebrow, Peter gulped.

* * *

"Padfoot! That was fantastic! I'm so glad I actually let you talk me into it!" James declared as he opened the door,

"I know!" Lily gasped, "I never thought I'd enjoy an actual night out while Harry's still young!"

Sirius grinned and straitened his shirt out cockily, "Told you" he smirked,

"Yes, thank you" Lily said hanging up her coat in the toilet.

"HELP!"

The three of them paled and drawing their wand raced into the living room, not to find a Death Eater attack or even one of Peter's 'Devil Socks' (if you smelt them you'd understand) but to find a giggling Harry clapping his hands whilst his uncle did Grade A acrobatics up-side down on the ceiling.

"OH MY GOD! _What_ _on earth did you give him!"_ Lily cried, James and Sirius merely collapsed on the settee with tears rolling down their cheeks amid their silent laughter.

"Harry! Stop it this instant!"

With a crash Peter fell to a heap on the floor twitching slightly, Lily continued her rant, "Sugar! You let him have _sugar_! I warned you what he's like with sugar and with his powers growing it's a wander your not on 'Ripley's Believe it or not'!" she then turned her attentions to the stunned one year old on the floor, "Harry, you should know better!"

Harry grinned guiltily at his mother.

Peter twitched.

* * *

**Well, what did you all think?**


	3. Remus Lupin

**

* * *

**

**Remus Lupin**

"Ello" Harry whispered, Peter whimpered and dashed to hide behind Sirius who laughed, "And I thought my experience was bad" he muttered casting Peter an amused look, it soon turned to disgust when he noticed why he was casting a drying spell on himself, "Wormtail!"

Wormtail glared at him and continued to dry himself, Sirius edged away from him and sat down by Harry who was playing with a toy broom.

"Are you going to play Quidditch when your older Harry?" he asked, Harry grinned and nodded his head vigorously, "Play lots!" he announced making the broom zoom around above his head, "Lots and lots and lots" he chanted.

"Not if Lily has her way"

"Moony! You old dog!" Sirius exclaimed moving to greet his friend,

"Funny" Remus commented, "I thought that description would be more suited to you"

"Ha ha" Sirius replied dryly, "So, you stuck looking after Damian?" he jerked a finger over his shoulder at Harry who merely smiled innocently.

"Yes and when did you go and watch 'The Omen'?"

"Last Saturday, I swear it is the story of Harry's future life" Sirius declared, Remus raised an eyebrow at him and pointedly looked at Harry who had resumed zooming his broom around. Sirius shrugged, "Fine, don't heed my warning!"

"Since when did you say 'heed'"

"I watched 'Casanova' the other night alright!" Remus grinned,

"So _that's_ who your role model is"

"You're just jealous!" Remus laughed at his friend,

"Yeah, course I am. Who wouldn't enjoy hiding behind Peter to escape ex's?" Sirius glared at him and pointed a threatening finger in his face, "You just wait. One day I shall have my REVENGE!" he then left.

Peter and Remus shared an amused look before Sirius entered, grabbed his shoes, coat and wallet and left again. Peter rolled his eyes and also left along with James and Lily.

Remus glanced at Harry, he was drawling slightly in his sleep, his head resting on the hovering mini-broom, "Devil child my ass"

* * *

Remus examined the book in his hand, Sirius had lent it to him ages ago and with Harry asleep now was the perfect time to read it, he glanced at the cover "**Don't Forget! _By Pablo McNutter_**" he shrugged to himself, flipped it open and began to read ;

"_Daniel told Maddi, to tell Louise to tell Hannah that she said to tell Olivia, to tell Sana so she can tell Liberty to tell Natasha that Zainab who knows that, Hasiba said that Charlotte said…to tell Shauna to tell Sira to tell Zeenat, to let Sam know so she can inform Sharon to pass on the message to Sundus, so that she could alert Lucy to confirm what Charlie said to Maria who told Amy to tell Letisha to tell me to tell you that…erm…I can't really remember…but I think it was something like…um…er…well someone in your family's been killed or something like that. I'm not sure. I'll get back to you on that one, ok?" _

Remus slammed the book shut, "My brain hurts" he groaned rubbing his head gingerly, he was very tempted to get the aspirin out but the fact that the room was completely empty caused him to realise that a sore head was the least of his problems,

"O – oh"

After searching the living room and hallway, completely destroying the kitchen (he had pulled out all the drawers in case Harry had somehow clambered inside) Remus expanded his search up-stair.

He ran up the stairs (the old man next door banged a broom against the wall yelling "Stop that racket you hooligan!"), he stood on the landing and ran a hand through his hair feverishly, three doors, all open.

It was Sod's Law that whichever room he went in to Harry would proberly be inside another room, come out and go down the stairs while he was still searching.

He cursed Sirius for teaching him to play 'Hide & Seek', he was uttering a particularly colourful word when the doorbell rang downstairs, groaning to himself he ran down the stairs ignoring the yells of the neighbour and thrust the front door open.

Standing there was a fire man, he had a large nose, big ears and crooked teeth but that's not important. Behind him Remus could see two fire engines and a large group of fire men as well as nosy neighbours.

"Excuse me sir, but you haven't lost a baby have you?" the fire man asked, Remus nodded warily, eyeing him all the time, the fire man beckoned him to follow him, "I think we found him" he said and pointed at the house.

Remus followed his pointing finger, his eyes landed on Harry who was sitting on the roof singing 'Mary had a little lamb'

It was too much for him, Remus fainted.

* * *

**Okay people! Hope you enjoyed that and thank you very much for the reviews!**

**Now I need your help, **Ourania the Star Gazer **suggested some other babysitters and I have some very, lets say strange, ideas for each one but which one should come next?**

**Snape**

**OR**

**Dumbledore**

**YOU DECIDE!**

* * *


	4. Albus Dumbledore

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS!**

**I am very sorry for not updating sooner. I now have my grandparent's old computer to do typing work on and will have to save the work on a floppy disk and run down the stairs to the family computer to load the next chapter up. Therefore it will take EVEN longer to update (that and the heavy course-work I now have to do)**

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The Potters were in trouble. BIG TROUBLE. And it had nothing to do with the psychotic egomaniac trying to kill them in the most painful way possible. No, this was much, much worse. They needed another babysitter.

On the 14th February Lily Potter had awoken to a huge bouquet of red roses and a delicious breakfast in bed (she didn't need to know it had taken 3 attempts and the combined efforts of James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Delia Smith to produce it. After all, it's the thought that counts)

After her delightful morning James told her he had booked them a table at the Wizarding Restaurant 'Delicious' in Whales. Unfortunately he had been so busy booking the table at said restaurant and putting out the fire of burning breakfast attempt number 1 to remember the tiny inconvenience that Harry had successfully traumatised all his previous baby sitters.

And this is why we now find our selves inside Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts where Harry was been offered a sherbet centred lemon drop.

"Would you like a Lemon Drop Harry? I'm sure you'll like them" Dumbledore extended his hand and gave Harry an un-wrapped Lemon Drop.

Harry studied the yellow, sticky thing in his hand before popping it in his mouth, it was nice. All sticky and sweet and so Harry sat there contently sucking on his sweet whilst Dumbledore settled himself opposite him on a large, squashy arm-chair watching him with a twinkle in his eye.

Harry continued sucking until –

"Urgggg!" and with a squeal of disgust he spat the sweet out, his face crumpled up and he shuddered with distaste. Dumbledore laughed heartily, bent double and shaking so hard it was a wonder he had stayed in his chair at all.

"You always get them with the sherbet! Every time!" he gasped in-between spasms of laughter and chuckling, Harry narrowed his eyes and him and folded his arms across his chest. He hadn't liked the sherbet at all.

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Dumbledore awoke with a start, 'Must have nodded off' he thought, he cast the rug a worried look but was relieved to see Harry still there, fast asleep. 'Bless'

Now he turned to more pressing matters at hand, like why his face itched worse then an itchy thing that itches a lot and why his Phoenix was covered in white fluff.

He reached up to scratch his chin only to find his beard no longer felt soft and … like hair. Why, it felt like feathers!

Quickly, much quicker then you would expect someone of his age to move; he jumped out of the chair and crossed the room to his mirror.

His beard was gone. Instead, in its place, was a mass of red and orange feathers. All long and beautiful. With a start her realised they looked quite like fire. He turned slowly to his Phoenix, a look of compete horror crossed his face when he saw his beloved bird was not covered in cotton but his own beard!

Harry, who had been watching the reaction from the floor, began to shake with silent laughter.

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**Not too sure if this is as funny as the others (including future ones). Ah well…**

By the way, the reason I did not name the Phoenix is because I can not spell the name and my books are still packed (moved rooms).

**Tata!**


	5. Severus Snape

"Hello asshole" Harry greeted the bat in front of him, Snape glared at him but Harry's attention span was smaller than his age and he had already toddled away.

He wasn't happy with the situation, why must he suffer because Dumbledore was scared of the boy?

Had the old man thought this through? Answer: no. The Potters didn't like him, he didn't like the boy and...oh yes, he was a Death Eater double agent.

He was half hoping his mark would burn so he could leave the infuriating toddler, but he was worried he would come back to his office to find every vial broken and the brat sitting in the middle of the mess trying to look innocent.

He sat down in his chair and tried to glare the baby into submission, Harry grinned and waved at him. Snape growled. He shouldn't have to put up with this; he stood up, grabbed the boy and made for the door.

A whine came from his arms, Snape made the mistake of looking down. Large, tear filled, emerald eyes gazed up at him from above a trembling lip. Snape faltered, Harry allowed a single tear to escape and roll down his cheek.

Snape shook his head to clear it, glanced at manipulative brat and rolled his eyes, "Oh all right! Fine! You can stay, but I want you in that corner" he pointed to the corner furthest from his desk, "You will not move from there, you will not speak, clap, stamp your feet, touch anything or in any other way annoy me. Understand?"

Harry smiled blankly at him. "I'll take that as a yes. Don't try those tricks on me. I know you've got your mother's mind" he paced Harry in the allotted corner and returned to his desk to start marking homework.

He soon forgot about Harry when he got into writing snide comments on the students attempts, _feeble_ attempts, at the art of potion making. It was at least an hour and a half later when he glanced up.

His heart missed a beat, he jumped back in his chair and screamed. Harry looked at him oddly. He had his arms crossed on the desk, head in his arms and had been watching the marking for some time. Was it his fault the deaf man was having a heart attack? Well, yes he admitted to himself. Or at least the equivalent of this went through his year old brain as he watched Snape fall off the chair and slide under the desk with a thud. Harry leaned over for a better view; greasy black hair, narrowed eyes and a hooked nose appeared over the desk.

"Hello" Harry said, Snape's eye twitched in a psychotic way and he clenched his fists once he had seated himself back in his chair.

"You wait, Potter. I promise I am going to make your life a living hell when you get to school"

Harry pointed at himself with surprise and shock written on his face, his expression simply read; "Me?" Snape growled again.

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"No"

"Please, Severus"

"NO"

Dumbledore slumped, "Pretty please? A sherbet lemon on top?" Snape stopped walking and turned to face him with an eyebrow raised,

"No" he said coldly and continued to walk.

"But...but he likes you! Nothing bad happened the last time you baby-sat him!" Dumbledore attempted, Snape gave a huff, the headmaster slumped in defeat and stopped following the Potion's Master. His glum expression lit up and he hurried away, up the stairs and knocked on a door.

"Come in" He opened the door and entered;

"Minerva, I'm glad your here. I have a favour to ask you"

**Author - **_I realised i hadn't updated for so long and decided to find my notes and get typing. I hope you all like this. Can you guess who is next?_

_I have also written the last chapter but have no fear! It will not be posted for a long time, I have at the least 3 more chapters I want to write but there is a very big possibility there will be more._

_Until next time - Hippie Jade_


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